What I expect when I go to a Doctor

Across the length and breadth of Mumbai, the Chakrapani family has been in and out of most hospitals. When I was carrying quadruplets, I was registered in at least 5 hospitals from Andheri east where I live to Grant Road, where my gynaecologist resided. I spent 8.5 months in hospitals during my pregnancy and began to observe and learn a lot about how Doctors work, their challenges and tribulations, their uncertainties and yes, they also make mistakes.

My saga with Doctors continued after my babies were born. My son began walking at the age of 3. Two of my children were diagnosed with autism. I put on weight at an alarming pace.

These three events were sufficient to send me in search of medical help, all the time. I have met and interacted with a number of Doctors from many fields.

The physiotherapists and occupational therapists taught me the values of patience and persistence.
The developmental pediatrician and child specialists taught me the power of observation and an eye for details.

The surgeons captivated me with the finality of their work, the precision and guts they need to invade a human body. The general physicians and diabetologists taught me that EVERYthing is related to weight management.

By turn, Doctors have been kind, patient, irritable, humorous, engaging, brusque, brutally frank, hard working, tired, exhausted, positive, hard to access, quickly accessible and resilient.

What do I look for?
What stands out in my memory?
What have I learnt?

I look for a Doctor who gives time: both to listen to the patient and to talk to the patient. It is easy to get intimidated by a Doctor and a Doctor who tries not to intimidate you is a treasure. I have learnt this quality from Professor Emeritus Dr.Y.Amdekar as I met him for the first time as an overwrought mother of four children; all three years old. Overwhelmed with relief at his patient explanation, I stood outside his clinic and wept before composing myself and going home.

What stands out in my memory?

Dr.Hari Menon, a senior oncologist at TATA Memorial. I met him between scores of patients. With disguised weariness, he attended to every patient. When my turn came, there were important papers: a case history that had not been filled. The Doctor’s exhausted control snapped and he berated me ‘Mrs.Chakrapani, because of your negligence, I have to write out your entire case history or your file won’t get accepted.” I was distraught but helpless and kept quiet. Almost after midnight, the good Doctor sent me an email “I am sorry at my impatience. I was between many patients.’. I marveled at the grace and humility of a Doctor who is working in critical care, seeing hundreds of patients a day, working round the clock and taking the trouble to look up my email id from my file and write to me.

What have I learnt?

To be a good patient, I also have to be patient. Results will not come quickly. When I tired of taking my son for physiotherapy, the occupational therapists decided to bring me out of my comfort zone. If you give up, Mrs.Chakrapani, Krishna will never walk. He will need artificial support. I carried on, taking Krishna back, forth, back, forth. When I could not go to her anymore because of the prohibitive distance, I changed the therapists but I did not give up. Her words had burnt themselves into my mind.

To work. To be patient. Results take time. I’ve also learnt that Doctors can never not be Doctors. They walk into a party, a family function, a movie, a wedding and invariably someone or the other brings up a medical query.

A Doctor can never ask ‘How are you?’ when he or she is off duty. They ask, at their peril.